Dear family, I love you

The smiles. Oh, the smiles.

The laughter of an innocent child.

So young.

So pure.

So excited.

So angry.

So hurt.

So blessed.

So beautiful.

Whenever I think about my beloved family, my eyes well up with tears. As I write these words, I find myself sitting in a lively coffee shop in Central London. My eyes are glistening with tears of joy. Tears that just scream of love for my family.

They’d never know it, though. They’ve never seen it. I’ve kept my love for them bottled up inside for so long. In my own special, selfish way.

I simply cannot understand why God placed me in this family, specifically.

With parents who have supported me despite my stubborn nature. They never hurt me. They never forced me to study anything specific at university. They’ve always been there for me, spiritually, financially, emotionally. They would love me even if I was a nobody. And they do.

With siblings who have always provided a home for me. Always invited me over. Always accepted me. They’ve loved me all along. And they’ve got the actions to prove it.

Loving someone not by words alone, but also by actions. How interesting. I have a friend who did that once. But that was a long time ago.

With nephews and nieces who are constantly asking when Uncle Graham is coming home. If only they could understand that I want to see them so much more than they want to see me. So cute. So innocent. Growing up so quickly. One of the greatest blessings I’ve ever received has been the opportunity to play uncle to such incredible children. I cannot even fathom what being a father must feel like. I hope to one day understand.

Thinking about my family makes me cry. I miss them so much.

But I’ll see them again soon. I promised my sweet nephews and nieces that I’d knock on their door just as soon as the snow melts. And that will be happening in the very near future.

I’ll be there. To give my mother a hug that lasts for hours. To go for a motorcycle ride with my father that will change our lives. To admire my brothers and sisters as they raise their beautiful families. To play with the little ones until it just feels normal again.

And then keep playing.